


Unforgiveable

by Nikasha



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M, Sector 7 Plate Drop (Compilation of FFVII), Zack Fair Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-09-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26574472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikasha/pseuds/Nikasha
Summary: Zack's reaction to his boyfriend dropping the Plate is...unpleasant.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Reno
Kudos: 8





	Unforgiveable

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a conversation I had with Windupkuponut
> 
> I had no idea what to tag this...
> 
> Rude is the best best friend to ever friend.

He shut the door behind himself.

For a beat it was quiet, but the air was tense enough to sever. And then he heard footsteps.

Quicker than even he could react, a hand grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him hard into the wall.

“What the _fuck_ were you thinking?”

Reno looked up into vibrant blue eyes, tinged Mako green with fury. He felt...hollow. “I was following orders.”

Zack barked a mirthless laugh. “You dropped a piece of the motherfucking Plate! A whole sector! And that’s your excuse?”

“I had to.”

“Bullshit!” Zack pulled him away to slam him into the wall again. Reno felt a sharp jolt of pain.

“I had to,” he repeated.

“Reno!” Zack snarled into his face. None of the cheerfulness that made him so beautiful was there now, none of the melancholy that made Reno want to keep him safe. Just pure anger. At Reno. “You killed people! Thousands of people!”

Reno’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I had no choice.”

“You always have a choice!” Zack must have noticed Reno’s wince as his grip became painful. He tore away, pacing through the apartment as he dug his hands into his hair. He kicked the couch with a loud shout.

Reno didn’t go after him. He slipped back out of the apartment without a word, silent as a ghost.

Fifteen minutes or so later, he knocked on a different door. When Rude opened it and saw him, he just stepped aside. Reno went in and coiled up on the couch, tugging his tail of hair over his shoulder and resting his chin on his knees.

“Thought you went home.”

“I did,” Reno answered. His tone was bright and normal, but his face was flat. A vocal mask. “Didn’t quite go as planned, yo.”

“Mm.” Rude started puttering around the place, getting ready for bed. At one point he filled two glasses with bourbon and handed one off to Reno. After Reno downed it in one go, he refilled it with something less expensive.

Reno sat with the drink in his hand. His ears were ringing, body covered in bruises and scratches. There was a massive gash at his lower ribs that they had bandaged and hit with a Curaga, but would take time to heal completely. Every inch of him ached and stung.

His head was the worst. Blaring sirens. Screams of terror and pain. Yelling. Bullets ricocheting. The clang of metal against metal. Screeching supports as they collapsed. The electricity of his own weapon.

A massive sword swinging at him and despite his speed, he couldn’t dodge forever.

Reno drank the entire glass again and stood. Rude had abandoned him to his own devices, but he knew he was half-listening and would come if Reno made any noise that sounded like he needed help. Reno did not need help. He needed to forget. For a bit, at least.

In his mind’s eye he saw a face warped with anger. Blue eyes turned green.

His stomach clenched. He ditched the glass and drank straight from Rude’s bottle of vodka. He wished there was something stronger lying around, but he wasn’t fool enough to risk Rude’s ire over draining his whiskey, so he settled.

He didn’t remember much else.

In the morning, he woke with a pained groan. He clutched at his head as he slowly sat up, befuddled. Memory returned, mostly. He recalled he was at Rude’s place. He did not recall how he got into Rude’s bed. Feeling warmth beside him and the presence of a body, his stomach momentarily dropped as he looked over.

It wasn’t Rude, thankfully. However, it was Zack.

Reno squeaked and backpedaled, trying to clamber out of bed. He misjudged the edge and fell, hitting the floor with a dull thud. Head ringing harder and dizzy as a merry-go-round, Reno laid there and groaned.

Zack slowly peeked over the side, woken by Reno’s mad scramble. “You up finally?”

Reno squinted at him then covered his face with his arm. “Nope,” he slurred out. “No awake here. Only...asleep.”

Zack snorted. He followed Reno off the bed and knelt to pick him up. Briefly, Reno’s stomach lurched and he clung to Zack’s arm as he tried to get away and not puke on his poor boyfriend. He somehow held it down that time.

“Oookay.” Zack took him into the bathroom and set him down by the toilet while he turned the shower on, sticking a hand under the water.

Reno threw up. Twice. He felt both better and worse afterwards, and made that clear by how he moaned in misery as he leaned against the sink.

Zack tugged him to standing. “C’mon, clothes off.”

Reno let him strip him naked, but he really burst into protests when he was shoved under the water. He sputtered and smacked a hand against the ex-Soldier. “It’s cold, damn it!”

“It sure is.” Zack sounded appalling chipper.

For a brief moment, Reno wished Zack had been under the plate, just a throwaway, untrue thought. Then it hit him what that meant and the memories it triggered and he went still, leaning against the tiled wall and putting a hand to his temple. He kneaded a knuckle into the soft tissue there.

Screaming. So much screaming. It was almost unreal, honestly, like watching a horror movie. So many voices. It didn’t really bug him too much at first. Just a job. Cloudy boy landed a hard hit on his side that was bleeding badly, but he had gotten to the chopper just in time. Nearly lost his footing on the railing, but Tseng grabbed him and pulled him in. He was bleeding everywhere; gross. The Ancient was there, looking at him in horror, but also sad understanding.

She cast Curaga on him. He leaned back and gritted his teeth.

That was when the rumbling started. The creaking metal. He pushed Aerith away to look out the helicopter, ignoring Tseng’s hand trying to pull him away. He had to see. He had to.

People were running below. So many, like ants from a disturbed nest. He saw them falling, covered by rubble and massive boulders from the plate. There were fires from severed electrical equipment. He saw splatters of blood all over the ground. Some of the people trying to run were black and red with blood and dust.

Tseng shut the door then. Too late.

Now it wasn’t just a thought in his mind, it was an image before his eyes. It made it real and both better and worse. All of those people. He had killed them.

He had killed all of them.

Suddenly he jolted from his nightmarish thoughts, breath shuddering painfully in his chest. Arms were warm around his body, his head pulled to rest against someone’s chest. He recognized Zack’s body and warmth, his smell.

“Shh,” he heard Zack murmur, fingers threading through red hair. “I’m here.”

Reno sucked in another shaking breath and kept his eyes open. Focused on the sound of Zack’s voice. His racing heartbeat slowed and settled until the tight ache in his chest also eased.

Reno knew, objectively, that he should probably try to talk to Zack about what happened. At least try. But he also knew that if he did, he might break down and lose it again. So instead he grabbed Rude’s soap and tried to wash off some of the stink.

Unfortunately for them both, Reno’s bandages had been ruined by the water. He shut off the shower and climbed out and they went through a fun process of getting him dried off and then taking the soaked bandages and gauze off his body.

Zack gave his injury a thorough look. “You need another Cure,” he commented. He was, perhaps fortunately, rather well versed in caring for wounds.

“Don’t got one,” Reno answered glumly. He shoved Zack away and delicately pulled on his pants, then opened the door to the bathroom a crack. “Yo, partner? Got any Healing materia?”

Rude came around the corner a bit later. “No.” He handed Reno a Mega-Potion.

Reno brightened in relief then frowned. “You don’t mind?”

Rude’s mouth quirked up into a small smile and he walked away.

Reno ignored how flattered that made him feel and closed the door again, wiggling the bottle to show Zack.

“Nice! Sit.” Zack gently took him and sat him down on the toilet, eyeing the wound again. While Reno drank the Potion, he dug out some gauze and bandages.

Reno stared straight ahead while Zack wrapped his side up again. He was startled from his numbness when Zack said, “This is from the Buster Sword.”

Reno hesitated then sighed. “Yeah.”

“Cloud was at the pillar?”

“...Yeah. He and his group fought us.”

“Huh. Good for him.” Reno winced. “I suppose they lost?”

Reno laughed until he coughed and wheezed, holding his side painfully. “Do I look like they lost?” he rasped. “They beat the shit outta me. I just managed to get the codes keyed in and activated while they were distracted. And then...” Reno’s voice tightened and he sneered. “Then they were too damned late.”

Zack paused. “Reno...”

The Turk clicked his tongue and snatched the bandage from Zack’s hands. He finished the wrap and pinned it in place. It was a painful and unfortunate process to pull his dirty, bloody suit back on from where Zack had tossed it. He would be happy to get into something more comfortable and clean.

He tore open the door and left, Zack yelping behind him and hustling to get his own clothes back on. Reno went into the kitchen and paused at the sight and smell of breakfast. His stomach couldn’t quite decide whether it liked the idea or not, but the Potion had helped dampen his hangover somewhat so he risked it.

While Reno sat at the table with a plate of bacon and toast and Rude set a glass of water down in front of him—he glared balefully at it—Zack left the bathroom and came to join them.

As Zack grabbed a piece of bacon, Rude commented from the coffee maker, “Fair came in through the window.”

Reno choked and Zack sniffed, a little red. “You WHAT?”

“I didn’t wanna knock and wake somebody up, and I assumed the door was locked!” Zack said indignantly. “It’s not like I broke it or anything...”

“I almost punched his lights out,” Rude confessed somberly. “He was looking away from me. Then I realize who it was.”

Reno guffawed and hissed in pain. “You stupid motherfucker. You should know better than to break into a Turk’s house.”

Zack rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Like you could hurt me.”

Rude and Reno exchanged a glance. Rude cleared his throat and went back to his coffee. Reno frowned at Zack. “We’re trained to eliminate Soldier runaways,” he said grimly. “It’s not...widely known. But I kinda thought you would’ve guessed.”

Zack hummed, stealing another piece of bacon. “We know, more or less. Especially after they sent me to Costa with no guard except Cissnei that one time.” His expression flickered at the thought of his old friend. “But I really don’t see how.” He shrugged, blasé.

Reno looked down into the water he had been dealt. “You’d better hope you never find out, buddy,” he said wryly. “Because it would mean ShinRa knows about you.”

Rude paused. “So you haven’t told anyone.”

Zack looked to Reno, brow furrowing. “What’s he on about?”

Reno waved his hand lazily then winced. “No, I ain’t told anybody at ShinRa that you’re alive. Only Rude. I’m betting Tseng has a hunch, but he can’t do shit on just a hunch.” He drank the water then looked expectantly at Rude. His partner rolled his eyes behind the sunglasses, but set down a mug of coffee. “Thanks.”

Zack sat down next to Reno and traced an invisible pattern in the surface. “Rude kind of...explained to me why you guys did it,” he said slowly.

Reno grunted and took a drink of coffee, wincing when it scalded his mouth. “Can we have this talk in private, yo?” he demanded.

Zack glared at him. “No. Because if you say something to piss me off, I would like someone else here to stop me from wringing your throat.”

A retort bubbled up to Reno’s lips and he stifled it with more coffee.

The ex-Soldier crossed his arms. “He told me what happened to Veld,” he said grimly. “And your department, why it’s so small now. And I can kind of figure out why you did it from there.”

Reno hissed. “I was just _following orders.”_ He glared at Rude, who remained impassive. “Don’t make it out to be some excusable thing.”

“It isn’t,” Zack agreed quickly. “And we’re going to need to talk about that. But right now, you should focus on healing.”

Reno traced a finger around the edge of his mug. He looked up at Rude and tried to silently plead with him.

Rude scoffed, a little displeased, but just said, “I’m going out. I’ll be back in a few.” He went and pulled on his shoes then left the apartment.

Zack gave Reno a suspicious look.

The Turk turned in his seat, reaching out to touch Zack’s arm. When the ex-Soldier relented and unfolded his arms, Reno took his hands. He looked down at them, unable to meet his eyes. Afraid to see blazing green again. “I know you’re mad,” he commented softly. “And I get it, I do. If you can’t forgive me, then...” He swallowed. “If you wanna break up, I understand.”

Zack was quiet for a long moment. Reno couldn’t look at him. Zack extricated one hand and cradled Reno’s cheek, lifting his face and tracing his thumb over a red tattoo. Reno hesitantly met his eyes.

Calm blue stared back at him. “No,” he answered firmly. “I don’t want that. You fucked up. No matter your reasons, the Turks fucked up bad. But I don’t want to give up on us because of that. I don’t want to give up on _you_ because of that. Okay?”

Reno sucked in a shallow breath. It was the closest he was going to get to forgiveness so soon, and it meant more than so many empty promises and platitudes. He smiled weakly and looked down again, leaning into Zack’s hand. “Yeah. Okay.”


End file.
